Thoughts on Home

Home is such a funny, wonderful, ever-changing thing. In my life I have considered home to be in 7 states (plus one canadian province), 12 towns, 6 houses, 4 apartments, 1 dorm and 1 hotel. I have had 16 different bedrooms in 25 years of life! Ok, so a couple of those weren't technically "my room" but where I stayed when visiting my parents - but my childhood books are there so we're going to count them.

My freshman year of college my definition of home was turned upside down. When I moved to Boston my family moved from San Diego, CA to Seattle, WA. My first Christmas I flew "home" to a state I had literally never been to before. I interchangeably used home to describe both my parent's house in WA and my dorm room in MA. Because they both were equally home to me. Boston had my day to day life, Washington had my family. I learned that - although cliche - home really is where the heart is.

This past weekend Agent S and I flew back to Boston for the wedding of two of our dearest friends. It was a very busy, beautiful weekend and I definitely discovered that my heart is still very much in New England. It felt so completely normal to be back in Boston, spending time with our friends there, enjoying some of our favorite restaurants. Drinking in the crispness of a perfect fall day in the city. It felt like we had never gone on our road trip, moved in to new places, or started school. Any sense of a developing home in California melted away almost instantaneously. Even now that I am back in my room, in the comfort of my own bed, I can't quite accept it as home. I am incredibly homesick for Boston and the great life we had there.

Yet I know this is unfair to San Diego. After all, I've been here less than a month, and I just spent 7 years in Boston. I know I will adjust - after all, all those years in Boston I always said San Diego was my hometown (having spent 11 years here prior). Thus far I am incredibly excited about my department and the great opportunities I have here. I am now close enough to my best friend from high school to call her up and make last minute dinner plans again. I'm meeting other wonderful people in my department and adding a delightful cast of new friends to my life.

A sense of home will come. I'm sure of it.